PLKN part 4

Okay, let's continue the journey!
This gonna be another long looooooong blogpost.

SIXTH WEEK;

It was such a hectic week. Ok well tell me is there any week that I didn't kept on complaining about? Hahaha no. Even my mum had already accustomed with my nagging during the family visit day about 'how hot the weather is' 'how tired my days were' 'how tanned my face was'- and just so you know, it was an obvious two-toned colour I got there on my face. Every time I nag about it, she be like "Cuba la jangan asyik nak complain je, it's once in a lifetime experience so enjoy je la"  Despite the rant I've made, I do enjoyed myself there. 

Okay so the activities for this week were; flying fox, shoot using colt m16, election day, and the flood relief mission at TUDM Subang, 

Flying fox. So actually we were separated into two group, whereas Alpha&Bravo and Charlie&Delta. The first trip was Alpha&Bravo went for colt m16 shooting on tuesday whilst Charlie&Delta did the flying fox. So obviously as a Deltarians, we went for shooting on wednesday for the second trip. Charlie&Delta (well we were always meant to be together hahaha) did the flying fox first on tuesday. Did I managed to do the flying fox? Nahh, of course! ((minus the fact that I actually got freaking nervous and scared and even worse the attire that we need to wear during the activity was stuck for a while during my turn and baaaam, my fears level raised up)) It wasn't that high actually so yeah, it lessen my nervousness and in fact, it was fun! 

Where we did the flying fox

That night, we slept with our half-celoreng uniform since the next day we needed to wake up super early because the teachers said that "tayar bergolek pukul 5 pagi, siapa lambat tinggal." So we took the safe way to sleep with the uniform we should wear tomorrow morning just in case if we're all overslept.

Colt M16. So we woke up at 0330++ (gosh that was freaking early with the fact that the day before was quite a tiring day some more fuh) reached mosque for subuh prayer at 0630 and headed to the shooting range (I can't remember where exactly it was) afterwards. Wooo guys, it was damn great. We were given 10 real bullets and the target was like 100m farther, with a trainer beside us, we shoot like a boss. I was quite nervous actually but then the trainer comforted me and showed the right position to shoot and poooof, I did the first shot! Just so you know, none of my shots hit the target because I didn't exactly saw the target tho. LOL

not-so-ready face ft. m16

So guys, do not mess up with me or I'll just shoot you right on your head!

Election day. Aha yes, we did had an election day just like the real one. It's to expose us to the real situation that happen on the day of election. So there were two contested parties, Parti Kunci and Parti Tractor. Each classes got their own duty to either be the SPR, police, media, citizen, etc. What a lucky class, my class, we had to be the police which literally means we needed to wear full-celoreng! (so lucky i tell ya) ((duh no, we hate that attire bcs its freakin hot)) (((ok now i miss it already))) As you all know the process of election (if u dont know, read here) just like the past PRU13, we did exactly like that. From the nomination process till the final results, step by step we did it all. And obviously I'm not the nominee for any of the parties because nah, just too febelez to be a YB *flips hair* (kbye muntah now)

There were some of them needed to act as a pregnant woman, blind man, an insane person, old folks and many more. As a police, we have to control the situation from the havoc and ensure the day went smoothly. We did it, the election day went well. Tired? Haha of course, but we had fun and it was a great experience just before I reached 21 and can legally vote. Oh ya, Parti Kunci won for that day.

Flood relief mission at TUDM, Subang. It was saturday, the off day for everyone. Whilst everyone was sleeping and having a nice rest at dorm, few trainees and I went to Subang where the flood relief mission were held. We did nothing much there because it was already the tenth day of the mission so yeah, nothing much left. The work wasn't that much, wirawati only gossip-ing with the seniors there and relaxed while having a glass of syrup. As for wira, they did more works than us because there were boxes needed to be lifted. The day went well, we got back to camp in the evening and rushed a bit because we needed to reach Masjid Ubudiah for a talk before maghrib. Oh ya, I remembered this time where we're in the shower and heard people screamed and yelled "cepat! siapa yang pergi masjid siap cepat oi bas dah nak gerak!!!!" I was like, damn it. Like can you wait for a while I can't even take my bath peacefully because everyone was rushing like hell. Swearing this and that till a friend of mine be like... "ni memang rushing gila ni izz sampai baju pun kau tak butang!" Hahahah shiz. Thank god she realized it earlier.

Weeee finally sunday came! It was time to pay me a visit with some good foods. Huehuehue

Hahaha idk whats with the face 

Oh and Ayah told that Uncle Awang was supposed to follow them visiting me, but then he came up with something else. But no worries because Uncle is always full of surprises! Well then I opened the car's bonnet and- tadaaaa oh gosh full with foods. That food supply was like I'm going to stay there and not coming back home. Lol. And that's one of the reasons why I love sunday; mom gonna bought everything I craved for when I was confined in the camp. 

this is how my locker looks like every sunday
bcs sunday is a refill-my-food-stock kinda day

Sixth week family visit

SEVENTH WEEK;

This was such an emotional week I guess! A lot of things happened which made me, us, mentally and physically tired. And kinda a busy week too; preparation for SSP (Semarak Semangat Patriotisme) event, one of the activities for the KN module.

The week started as usual with classes and classes and talks and lectures etc. So on monday, we were given a talk about AADK (Agensi Anti Dadah Kebangsaan) and yea, it was freaking bored. Everyone slept during the talk especially wiras. Here, where the war started. Here, where I actually got a chain letter from an anonymous (which I already knew whom) and this thing became quite a big matter when my dormmates told that one person. Hahaha am so dead, that time. I didn't really take it serious about it, I thought it was just a small matter despite the fact that I did curious about the sender. But to whom it may concern, it was such a big matter that eventually had brought us into a small fight. Your worries- I miss. (if u r reading this, i know u will, just know that it's not that i don't want to let u know by myself but- i know things gonna get worse. and it does. thats why!)

KN classes had finally ended on thursday. Well, it has been too long for this module huh since the fifth week. Oh before that, we learned about Ibadat Medan, Masak Medan and IHP (Ikhtiar Hidup Perkhemahan). Basically, all these were about survival skills in the jungle. Talking about this, I remembered my dad once told me "korang ni kalau ayah campak dalam hutan ni, memang tak hidup la jawabnya, semua benda tak reti!" Hahahahah that was urm a year ago, I guess.

By the way, we just started our practice for SSP on thursday- and the competition on the next monday! Always the last minute one. Well it was such a chaos because Delta wira and wirawati are lack at giving commitments. We were given a task where we need to do a short acting about Dato' Maharajalela and a side show which is dikir barat. You just can't imagine how stressful the rehearsal went. Attitudes- that's the major problem.

this was during the dikir barat practice 

Siti, the person in charged for organizing dikir barat, was so annoyed especially with all the wiras. I don't know why, but they're just too hard to handle. Nah, boys. And somehow it affected us, the wirawatis' mood. 

People went to plkn to get fit. I mean, at least to lose some weights. So does me, but I can't also say no to food at night when I actually skipped my dinner in the evening. Hahaha and so, there was that night where we will just sit outside under the light of thousand stars with the pleasantly windy, eating and gossiping together. This was somehow the way to cure an exhausted day; by eating and having a deep heart to heart talk with the girls.

one of those night,
 where the craving for a superb nasi lemak was fullfilled

Ok so, on friday we had an activity called DKRTG [(Daulat Kerajaan Rakyat Tanah Gelanggang) (it was a pyramid of building a developed country)] I didn't participate much because I had to go to the medic for some medical check-ups at the morning. So I joined them right after I've settled with the medic thingy. And after all, the purpose of this activity was to cultivate the patriotism in ourselves and to protect our country from any invasion. As usual, the most important thing was the cooperation and compromise between individuals. 

the teachers were acting as the invaders
while the trainees tried real hard to protect the country from the riots

that guy with the tengkolok(?) acted as a prime minister
and here was the situation where recitation of pledge by PM 

the cooperation
ps; location is at the refectory (Dewan Makan/ DM)

Yayers finally it's weekend! But-- not really a yay since this week my family wasn't coming. Saturday morning was a community service kinda day. We were divided into group and each group got different places to dedicate their service. And my group were sent to Klinik Ibu & Anak just a few metres from the camp. So we did some cleaning works around the clinic area. Went back to camp in the afternoon and kept on practiced for SSP next monday.

As for sunday, since my family didn't came so I spent my time at the dorm having a lazy lazy kinda day- sleep & eat & gossiping.

Seventh week family visit
no family, but friends oh well- almost da same! friends are family.
sunday evening
from left; atiqah/me/ain/teah/siti
(acah acah nak gi jog padahal...............*insert anything that come across ur mind*)

EIGHTH WEEK; 

So the day had finally came. The day to present for SSP. We did our best, but the luck wasn't on our side. Delta got the fourth place; yea obviously it was the last place. Well, without blaming anyone we accept that hurtful fact. Right after everything was settled, Delta had a quick meeting. That was the moment where everyone who wanted to say anything can simply stand and speak. To voice out all the unsatisfied between wira and wirawati. OC (smtg like ketua kompeni) for wira and wirawati, Faez and Anis, play an important role there as a leader. They talked about our commitment, attitude and stuff to build a strong bond between us. I was quite annoyed when there were some wira who just doesn't know what manners is. Like, hello can you have a little respect your leader is talking in front and you play at the back? What even. And so the meeting ended with an agreement between wira and wirawati to learn and cooperate together peacefully without any fight for the upcoming activities or events.

From the very beginning, we've been told that we're not going to do any water sports regarding the kencing tikus cases. So no kayaking nor swimming at the camp, which is a sad news. But, we still did activity for our water confidence! 

Ok so we went to swim at Bukit Beruntung Golf Resort for our water confidence activity. The schedule was like this; all wira went to swim on tuesday whilst all wirawati stayed at camp to do physical training (TTS & marching) at padang kawad under the hot-burning-sunny day. Phew. Seriously man, it was freaking hot and we stayed there from early morning till the lunch time. Can you just imagine how burnt my face was? Ya right. 

that is how the padang kawad looks like
the one yang dekat bawah tu ok

So on wednesday, we shifted the schedule where wirawati went for swimming and wira stayed. Actually we did nothing much there, just some basic learning in the water. The activity was in group and unluckily my group got a man trainer. It was funny actually because we laughed all the time that the teacher be like "apesal korang ni tak bergerak gerak pun dari tadi berenang la asyik gelak je!" Aha quite ashamed la that time since the teacher is a male teacher. Lol.

Alright, so next event was Program Penghayatan Sastera & Bahasa (PPSB). PPSB was similar to komsas at school, basically it was all about poetry thingy. Were given a talk by someone from DBP (Dewan Bahasa & Pustaka) on thursday and the next day, friday, was the competition day. Well, just so you know here in plkn that's normal to give a task today and must be presented it on the next day. Each company got a different task and Delta got to present Nazam Kasih Ayah & Ibu and Sajak Pada Setiap Kali Kau Tiba Ogos. (nazam is something similar to syair)

ehe ehe that was me the fifth from left 

the final part of the presentation

Since we're quite unlucky for SSP, we practiced real hard for PPSB. I remembered how chaotic it was. We even had a little fight, I was kinda stressed out because I don't like rushing. Despite the fights we had, praises be to Allah that Delta won the first place. Wohooo! So all the stress and fight were all worth it. 

Charlie's trainees & I
kehkehkeh

here's after we've done the task successfully

Deltarians

Ok on saturday there was a blood donation day. So anyone who wanted to donate then you're welcomed and obviously I'm out. Hehe it's not that I didn't want to donate in fact, I'd love to at least once in my life to donate my blood but- I don't have the courage to. Not now maybe. 

one fine day, am definitely going to donate
.....
um just not sure when will it be that day
hiewhiewhiew

That was on saturday morning. Just those whom involved stayed at DM and the others can do whatever thing they wanna do at dorm. But in the evening it was a different story then. During roll-call, I don't even know why, the trainers got hot under the collar that they went mad simply because of our pants. So here how the story was; it was all started from wira. The teacher saw many of them folding their already short sleeve shirt (inner loreng shirt) well you know...boys...nowadays trend..and so because of some, every wira needed to change to the most unwanted-to-wear-attire; full celoreng. So while the wira went to change, the teacher walked around the DM and out of a sudden, he called out all wirawati who wore pants and sport shoes besides the issued one. Unfortunately, I didn't wear the issued pants that evening. Like, it was saturday and the teacher itself once told us we can wear our own pants on weekends. But then this one teacher asked us who told that and none of us can even remembered whom. And... "kalau seluar sendiri pun seluar yang jenis macam mana yang dibenarkan pakai ha wirawati?" Oh my god. I was swearing like hell inside because damn, double unfortunate that I wore my kinda-like-yoga-pants (which quite fit but no it actually not that fit, it was just the teacher blergh -_-) but thank god it wasn't me alone there. Hahaha. The teacher even blackmailed us to collect our phone back on that particular time. Ok then this shit was getting serious. I, we almost cried. Well I did. Few minutes then, after the tolerance with the teacher he only asked us to change our pants/shoes to the issued one in 5 mins. And so we ran like a hungry lion back to dorm, changed and still swearing. Everyone was like- what the hell it's weekend kot like can you just get some chill? Ugh.

Sundaaaaaaaay! So they said this was the last visit because in two weeks time I'll be back home. Okay, I'm fine with it. I packed all my things and left only a few to use for the left two weeks and sent them all back home. If not, I'm pretty sure my luggage won't fit in those stuff.

#nofilter
look! i'm already tanned! 

"guysss layan i selfie pls"
hahaha
Eighth week family visit

NINTH WEEK;

New week started with a new module! So Integrasi started on monday, as usual classes and classes. Oh and I'm being concerned when I bought a bottle of 100+ for this one person whom not feeling well on that day. Such a sweet girl I am kan? (hahaha ok izz dah boleh stop puji diri sendiri) Basically, Integrasi was about learning others culture. Not so much activity for this class and it was kinda bored. This module ended on friday. 

boring workbook

I have no idea what was going on that tuesday but the teachers were going mad that we (wirawati) have to gather at 0000 in front of dorm Cempaka because Cikgu Ija asked us to. To gather there at 0000 was already crazy and even worse was that we needed to be there with our full-celoreng, like whaaaat? Full-celoreng at 0000? When we're supposed to sleep? Like seriously? Yea, seriously. The worst part of that day was, we NEEDED TO MUST TO HAVE TO FREAKING SLEEP WITH FULL CELORENG WITH THAT BOOTS. No we can't cheat because the teachers did a spot check on us whenever they wanted to. That was the worst night ever- to sleep with full celoreng with that boots with that uniform and even with our tudung on, can you imagine how? 

The next morning I went to class and someone from my group which I can't remember who it's either Afiq or that tall guy (sorry i cant remember your name huhu) asked how did we sleep the night before. And I told them all, and they simply said "oh yeke kesian gila, kitorang tidur lek je pakai kain pelikat" What the fish la wei wira slept peacefully while us wirawati? When the real cause was from wira and that buah kelapa thingy idk. 

On thursday, it was World Interfaith Harmony Week 2015. So we were divided into group and mine was at Church of Our Lady of Lourde. Truth be told, it was my first time ever entering a church. Ya, I did enter it and saw everything in it. It was exactly like the church in any movies just that this time, it was real right in front of my own two eyes. Were supposed to do some cleaning works around the church and painted the wall but me and my friends were busy sight-seeing some international school's boys played basketball beside the church. Hahaha what even. And yes it was the time to withdraw your allowance! We stopped by at Petronas NKVE and did a little shop there. I bought mcd & subway for my own satisfaction because I didn't know what to buy- I feel like buying everything.

This weekend was one of the best weekends even though my family didn't come to visit. We had outdoor sports on saturday at Kolam Air Panas near the camp. So we walked about 1000m to reach there and it was really fun!

Wirawati Delta

There were many activities organized and it was a burning sunny day. Yeah I enjoyed cheered for my team, Delta. (bcs i didn't participate in any of the activities hehe) Well actually there was a dress code, unfortunately, it was kinda hard for wirawati to find those shirts so yea we just wore our PT shirt. Supposedly, we should wear green shirt to symbolize Delta.

and that is Delta's flag

musical chair
(guess who won? hiewhiew)

Surprisingly, wira from each company followed the dress-code. That's da spirit! Alpha-red Bravo-blue Charlie-yellow Delta-green. We girlsss can't find any good idea other than wore a green ribbon on our head, so it looked like a green headband there. But I found that it looked more like a nurse! Hahahah but still, we looked cute. Eh

from left; wern ni, nazatul, aqilah, nazmin, ain, aziera, pei tong, me and teah
ps: don't compare my skin with pei tong bcs obviously im hitam-er

Deltarians <3

This sunday was the last family visit day. Nayli asked to join her since her mom brought quite a lot of food. So I went there with Ais, Azie, Teah and Fie. 

Last week family visit
i tried to look sopan santun but- fail
hahaha

TENTH WEEK;

Gosh! Finally! The last week! 

Be ready cause I'm gonna spam with a lot of pictures!

How did I feel? I was glad that the torturing schedule (woke up real early, tiredness, rushing, packed time) had ended. I was glad that I could finally went back home and slept on my comfy bed. I was glad that I didn't have to do laundry using my hand. I was glad that no one will ever scream "MAWARRRRRR DALAM KIRAAN 10 SEMUA DAH KELUAR!!!!!" during subuh prayer. But somehow, deep inside I wasn't really wanted to go back home. I didn't wholeheartedly wanted to go back because I did not want to leave them. I did not want to be separated from them. Two months had already made me love them and now we had to leave. I definitely hate separation; in any forms. 

So we had our Wirajaya on tuesday. Wirajaya was like the peak activity in national service. In the morning we had jungle trekking. Sadly, we did not sleep in the jungle due to some reasons. Even sadder was that wirajaya was held only for a day. Cooking in the jungle? Sleeping in the tent in the middle of the jungle? Nah, no such thing. But still, it was a great day indeed. 

during the jungle trekking 

nice shot isn't it?

Yes, our outfit was full-celoreng outfit with a backpack to bring along your needs, food & water. The route was quite challenging but I managed to face it all. And you guess what people? After went through all the obstacles, the route actually brought us back to the place where the sports were held last week. The place where we could actually reached there within 1000m from the camp hahaha. 

meet Fatin and Teah

Once we reached there, we had our lunch and prayer at the open spaces near the playground there. So here where we did some activities like navigation, cooking and first-aid. Each company needed to divide their member into group for each activity. So I chose the first-aid activity where there will be victims in pain and we had to help them using the correct way in order to win the activity.

penat jungle trekking lah kononnya tu kihkih
meet Teah and Azie

Later in the evening we went back to camp using 1000m route to build and decorate our border region at the kembara halangan site. So each company wira & wirawati got their own site to build their so-called-home. Here where the cooperation is needed the most! Because we were given only few hours to build the tent and do some decorative thingy.

so this is Delta's archway

not-so-easy to build tent

Did everything together despite the fights and unsatisfaction between each other.

After everything was done successfully, here we go guys selca twime!

Gosh, I miss them!

Been asked to go back to have our dinner at DM and we were given time till isya prayer to do anything and must gathered back at the site after that. So instead of dinner, I went back to dorm to take a quick shower since the whole day was such a sweaty day. Then we went back to our site and that night we had some activities till midnight. I enjoyed myself instead of complaining how tired I was. Since we didn't sleep at the site, we went back to dorm around 0140+, I guess. Yea it was a tiring day since early in the morning so most of my dormmates slept right after we reached there. But not for me as I can't sleep with my dirty-stink-self, it was just uncomfortable. So I bathe again at 0200 in the morning. Wohoo am I brave enough? Kehkehkeh 

If the first week I woke up for subuh prayer at 0400, as week passes by, no more 0400 not even 0500 nor 0530. It was only for the first two week I woke up by myself. The weeks onward, I have Adilah as my alarm clock. No, we almost everyone in the dorm needs Adilah to wake them. I have my alarm clock beside me but I didn't hear anything. My bed was in the middle of the dorm and Adilah's at the back the last one beside the door and- she can hear my alarm. Almost every morning she be like "Izz bangunlahhhhh alarm dekat sebelah telinga pun tak dengar!" But it was true, I didn't hear anything. Tidur mati barangkali. Hahaha. 

from left; adilah, aqilah, nazatul and me wtih my tudung senget -_-
thanks dilah for wake me up every morning! muah muah

The next day, wednesday, we had our farewell. Omg it was so sad I can't even believe that it finally had come to an end. Many performances were made by the trainees and even the teachers & staffs. So I got to perform for dikir barat again! (was forced to, bcs they're not enough of people) (well i kan baik so i joined them) (rela dalam terpaksa ceh ok tak jkjk) 

dikir barat-mates//dormmates
from left; me, ain, teah, adilah & atiqah

We talked. We laughed. We took photos. We cursed. We enjoyed. We had fun. 

Together.

some of Mawarians

Now the climax had reached when the closing ceremony had already done. It was thursday in the morning where we had our closing ceremony. Where we officially completed our training here in national service. That was the day where tissues were the most important thing in my pocket. Everyone cried, I cried. 

during the closing ceromony

After quite some times we were standing there under the sunny day, after all the speeches had end, it was time to greet and kiss and hug session with all the trainees and trainers. That was the moment where everyone cried. Even precious because not even us wirawati but, some of the wiras also cried. Awwh that was such a sweet thing when I saw the boys hugged each other and cried.

"ok guys lek lu"

"ok now in 3 campak beret, 1 2 3!!!"

So basically after the closing ceremony ended, at 1600, we can already went back home. That thursday evening was the last day, for some. At first, when we were told that bus trip for Kajang was on sunday, I was like damn no way it was the last trip! I was about to ask my parents to fetch me either on friday/saturday but then Ain, Amii and Fatin said they gonna stayed and went back by bus so I was kinda relieved- I stayed. 

That thursday evening, Aziera and Aqilah were leaving, so I followed to send them back. Suddenly, on my way to send them, I bumped into someone and "Izz, i balik petang ni tau." That moment, the moment where I don't even know why but- I was dumbstruck and speechless and part of me was mentally brokedown. I walked away and again, I don't even know why; I cried. Ain and Teah witnessed how terrible I was at that moment. It happened spontaneously so I can't really avoid it when the tears suddenly drop down kan? I cried the whole journey to send them back that I can't even answered any calls. (drama queen sangat) 

i was holding that tissue the whole evening, to wipe off the tears

sending qilah back home!

Went back to dorm and they all was like "Izz ok tak ni?" "Izz lek ah jangan sedih." "Izz asal kau nangis?" Izz that Izz this don't this don't that hahaha thanks for your concern guys! But the truth was that I cried even more when they said those things. I just can't. (yea, am such a sensitive girl that cry over silly things) And only on the break time in between maghrib and isya, I knew the truth. It was just a joke, that person wasn't going back home that day. Kinda relieved- but I feel like punching you right on that particular time! (you better be sorry for that and treat me an ice cream later on! I cried so hard kot! Hahaha. u know who u are *smirks*) 

On friday, more trainees were going back and the others who went back by bus can simply lepak and do anything. So our routine on that day was eat-sleep-gossip and repeat. Oh and, selfie! 

semua muka dah hitam kahkahkah

Luckily, the teacher said since most of them already went back with their parents, bus for Kajang trip might be on saturday too! Wohoo! And that friday night, we had a karaoke session. Unfortunately, the songs were not up-to-date. Hahaha old songs babe and some I've never heard before. Lol

karaoke twime!

look! i wore baju batch JESS ok ceh

location; dorm

Okay, this has come to the sad part. It was saturday, the day to leave the camp. I was quite reluctant to leave everyone and say goodbye. But what to do, life goes on. We had to separate and say goodbye. That day, I didn't cry but I felt so sad. The fact that after this it's going to be hard to meet each and everyone of them, that's sad. 

saturday morning

semua perempuan
kecuali,
yang kat belakang tu
hahaha kbye

just before we were leaving tsk tsk

The moment I entered bus, that was the moment where I knew that I'll be missing that place so much. 

DPMW11, had completed her national service training.

Definitely will always be one of the best experiences in my life.

Thank you for all the memories.

Goodbye Pelangi Hill Resort.

The end.

part 1 // part 2 // part 3

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That's it, my whole journey in Kem PLKN Pelangi Hill Resort.

As I'm typing this, I am already missing those moments and currently reminiscing it awhh

Ps; to whom it may concern, thanks for the photos!

Thanks for reading! 

Love,

NIH

Can't deal, leave

Dealing with me can be either easy or hard.

I am that type of person who takes time to adapt with changes. Since change is inevitable, we have no choice but to deal with it.

Lets cut to the chase, it's not that hard to deal with me if you know how to win my heart. It doesn't have to be something expensive or what because actually the small things; like your concern that eventually mean the most.

When it comes to feeling, it becomes even harder to deal with. I mean like I take it serious when it deals with my feeling. I'm just a girl, a normal girl with thousands of emotions mixed at a time. I'm not emotionless- I wish I am tho. 

For me to describe how I felt, kinda hard. Maybe I'm more into actions rather than words. That's why people can easily detect something is wrong somewhere by my behaviour, sometimes. But most of the time, nobody can even notice because well I'm good at pretending I guess. It depends on the circumtances.

As time passes by, I really do think that it's time for me to actually learn have the guts and state the feel; for the sake of everyone, and myself.

Last but not least, I'd like to thank each and every one of you guys whom stay. For the patience you've been putting up for me, thanks I do appreciate it. Thanks for those who still care and concern even if I'm quite hard to handle and deal with, sometimes. And most importantly, thanks for not giving up. Because if it was me who had to deal with this-kind-of-version-of-myself, then I'd probably have given up. 

Love,

NIH

Those old posts

Ahaaaa gotcha!

And so, lately my stats increases drastically; which literally means people are viewing and reading my tedious blog. But-- I was appalled that the stats showed the posts that been read were those in the year of 2012 and below. *stalker alert* Hahahahaha whoever you might be, be. It doesn't matter, I don't mind people reading it despite that it's quite embarrassing for me.

This had brought me to stalk my own blog. I read those posts and wow- how childish how fatuous how nonsense I was, back then.

Nature of life, people changed-they grow up. Time passes, but memories stay. As I'm growing up, I learned a lot. Life has taught me a lot of things. I thanked Him for still giving me a chance to keep on learning in this world full of lessons. Somehow, I miss being a kid. But time wouldn't turn back as I always wish for.

As for now, I'm still in a phase of learning; that one of the phases of life that probably get me stuck in, for a long time.



Ps; I'm not going to delete those embarrassing posts, don't worry you can still stalk me.

Hahahahahaha NO, JUST DON'T.

Love,

NIH

PLKN part 3

*WARNING*

this gonna be a damn long blogpost 

As promised, here is my post about my 70 days//10 weeks (7/12/2014 - 14/2/2015) in Kem PLKN Pelangi Hill Resort, Kuala Kubu Bharu. Dang, I've started to miss all the memories there.


FIRST WEEK;

The day I left my room, my home, my family, I didn't exactly knew what was the feeling. Happy-excited-nervous-scared. During the registration session, the first person I met was Fatin. Then Anna came and I was kinda relieved because I got a partner to sit with in the bus. Kiss&hug session with my family- and oh Ain was there too! Thanks for sending me off gurl, love ya. Surprisingly, I did not cry. I repeat, I did not cry.

Looked happy huh?

This was before i got into the bus
Before i left them for 10 weeks

I slept for half of the journey I guess, and we reached the camp at 12+pm. I was amazed and excited at the same time. The surroundings were halcyon; the scenery of the hill. Then we were given some talks on what should we do next, the procedure and so on. So after the registration at the camp, I knew my index number, my company, and my dorm.

My index number;
Delta Perempuan Mawar 11

Me during the first day i reached 

My crib for 70 days

So basically each trainee got a different index number. There were four company; Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta. Each company got two dorms and same goes to the boys.

Some of my dormmates
Location; the space in between dorm Mawar and dorm Kenanga

Nazatul Faquyah and I, in front of our dorm 

Ok so here's how our daily routine goes like;

0500-0615: wake up and prepare for subuh prayer
0630-0715: roll-call // physical training (PT)
0730-0830: breakfast // preparation for class
0830-1030: class
1030-1100: morning teatime
1100-1230: class
1230-1400: lunch // zohor prayer
1400-1630: physical activity
1630-1700: evening teatime // asar prayer
1700-1830: roll-call // recreation
1830-1930: dinner
1930-2100: maghrib & isyak prayer (usually there were hafazan classes/talks from ustaz in between)
2100-2230: roll-call
2230-2300: supper // went to kiosk
2300------ : light off! (but we usually didn't sleep at 11, just the lights were off tehee)

P/S; this schedule are not fixed, it depends on the trainer that duty on that particular day

We did nothing much for the first week. Ice-breaking session with the dormmates- and yes, each and everyone of them came from a different background. Since it was the first week, maybe the spirit was still high haha so I woke up to prepare myself for subuh prayer at 4.30am (plus the fact that I'm that type of person who take so long to get myself ready).

Despite the fact that we did nothing much, it was quite a tiring week because I'm still trying to adapt with the schedule. And yes, the first week was horrible! There was this one morning where I woke up for subuh and guess what? I couldn't open my locker. The padlock was stucked. Thank god for Ain (my left-bedside-neighbor) existence we could handle it. Even worse, I once went to the bathroom for shower without bringing my towel along! Hahahah first week was damn annoying I told ya.

I bawled my eyes out especially during the zikir time before and after we performed our prayer. That friday after we got our phone back, I called my mum. I cried. I wanna go back on that particular time! But then, my mum convinced me and she said that everything will take time so be patient. I cried even more and I hung up the phone and just continued to whatsapp my mum. First week was hard. Really.

My dorm was on duty on that sunday which is family-visit-day so we need to wear full-celoreng!- the most unwanted outfit to wear by everyone hahaha. Yeah, my family came on that day; first week man lol

First week family visit
(and i'm already tanned)

SECOND WEEK;

Wasn't really stable emotionally yet, but- but life goes on. We were divided into classes. PK1-PK6 (PK stands for Pembinaan Karakter) So I was in PK6 for the Character Building class. In the class, we were divided into a smaller group consists of 12-13 members each. We called this as kumpulan kecil. In mine, there were Nadh, Atie, Anis, Chan, Jay, Azfar, Hakeem, Sugaan, Jun, Chun, Marul, Syafiq and I. Yup, we need to mix with the indians and chinese to make the bond stronger. I seriously love this kumpulan kecil so much.

These were books during CB classes

Basically CB classes are to make out the best in yourself and others. To show the real you that hidden behind your shadow, to speak up in public, to show the best of the best in yourself and the people around you. Even though everybody were sleepy during classes, but the activities were somehow fun and everyone took part. 

This week, teachers were so nice that they gave us our phone on friday night. The giving out of phones depends on the circumstances and teachers' mood. The early we can get- friday night. The latest- saturday evening. And not a good news was that my dorm was on duty again for this week!! The duty thingy was supposed to be done by every company and every dorm. But as for us (Delta Mawar), we did it twice! Where is the justice teachers?! Nah, jk we had fun tho despite that we were just too lazy to wear full-celoreng; that freakin boots. 

On saturday, we did spring cleaning our dorm and the toilet and relaxed all day long.

On sunday, my family came as usual at lunch hour. Am a happy kid. 

Second week family visit
(excuse my tak senonoh position and my hungry face)

However, sunday is our cheat day. My cheat day. Because every sunday, each and everyone of us will be filled with varieties of food. We shared together just like a siblings. Every sunday, after the roll-call, before sleep, we'll eat while gossip-ing together at the center of the dorm. Everyone will share their foods from the family visit time and we'll eat together. That was one of the best moments.



THIRD WEEK;

Started our physical activity with ribbon bocor and flying carpet on this week. Both activities were mainly about creating a cooperation in a group. To learn how to conduct and being a good leader, to unite together without any racism, to build self-esteem, and to learn how to make a good strategy in order to win the games!

Module 2 has ended and module 3 (MBK; Modul Budaya Kerja) started this week after the Christmas break; a day break which means sleeping day!! Hahah we usually took the opportunity to rest and sleep if there were a break even if it's only for one day, because you just can't imagine how tiring our days were!

This is MBK's workbook 

Oh ya, not to forget that we had our photo shoot this week. It was fun. It was hard to choose either package A or B because it didn't have the same photo. If you bought package A, then you'll not have the photo of package B and vice versa. So, I decided to buy both package--memories last forever. 

the order form

So here's some of the photo I bought. There were 7 pieces in total, but I just show few ok.

I've been trying to rotate this so many times but it doesnt work!! sorry :(
Anyway, this is my dormmates.
Mawarians.

This is my company, Delta.

This is the whole trainees in PHR camp.
Wira & Wirawati
(dont bother to spot me bcs i even take few mins to spot myself there hihi)

And since this week, I've started to eat a lot. I've started to eat at midnight-i feel fat. I usually skipped my dinner at 0630 and took my shower during that time before went to the surau. (hm include the fact that fishes are usually prepared for dinner) Because it's either skip dinner and shower in the evening or shower in the night after roll-call which we trainees had no idea what time it will end. Somehow, it ended at 1030+++ and we were freaking sleepy and finally decided not to bath and just sleep. Oops.

What a lucky week that we got our phone on friday night again! So I asked my parents about the family visit thingy and alas, my dad said they might not coming this week. With a reason that highway must be jammed because of people going back for Christmas eve. Fine. 

But then--- 0540, Saturday; was about to go for subuh prayer and received a long long whatsapp from my dad. I read and spontaneously tears streaming down my face. Dang, that messages from ayah hit me so well that I cry a river along my journey to surau. (during my prayer also, i cried.)

"Nanti kalau kakak dah masuk Uni nanti bukan every week ayah boleh datang tengok. So kakak kena biasa hidup sendiri sekarang. Belajar berdikari. Next week ayah datang ok! Ayah miss u a lot and I know you're strong! Love u." 

- some lines from the message

Luckily, I have this one dormmate named Nayli Amirah and her mother-whom we called as Mummy that have such a generous heart. Nayli is the only child and lived with her mum. So her mother came every single week with a lot of foods to feed her only daughter & friends. So I and some of our dormmates joined Nayli with her mum for this week family visit.

Third week family visit- with nayli and others

FOURTH WEEK;

The week started as usual with the same routine as the weeks before. On tuesday, it was quite fun in class because every group needed to do an exhibition by just using a bird origami. Like, you have to promote stuff to attract people to buy your stuff. (And I now know how to do a bird origami, thanks to Jun!) It was a competition in order to win the contract. Basically, MBK's main objective is to expose us to the real world of work. So my group, Falcon, did everything last minute! Everyone seemed to not take it seriously and just go with the flow. Surprisingly, we won the contract! How irony hahaha.

And I embarrassed myself this week when I cried in the class. Man, I just can't hold it that time. On the last day of MBK, we were asked to write a letter to anyone we wanted to and the teachers will post it via poslaju. So I wrote a letter to my family of course, mostly wrote to their family members because that's the only address you know. As I wrote it, I bawled my eyes out. Thank god it wasn't only me who's crying.

Oh and we started our Kembara Halangan session this week. It was fun yet tiring! I managed to finish it all, but-- didn't managed to pass it all. Get what I meant? Hahah, I managed to complete all the obstructions even though I fell in the freaking water during the tarzan swing and monkey-bar. This activity somehow teaches you to be strong to face anything come across. Many gratitude to those who supports me when I just felt like giving up. Especially to his circle of friends that shouted your name just to boost up my strength to complete the challenges. Thank you.

This is where we did our Kembara Halangan activity.

Not to mention that I think I'm getting fatter this week. There were this one day where we almost slept and suddenly Sya (a friend from the Kenanga dorm) told us to not sleep yet because the food that we ordered has just arrived. And people, you guess what time was it? Freaking 2330++ like whuuuut. And since we were already paid RM7 for the fried rice & iced milo, with a sleepy eyes we woke up and ate. I got back to bed after an hour of resting my full tummy. (and smh i got a stomachache afterwards lol)

Everyone got really knackered this week. The activities and the punishment and the rushed-duh. Just so you know, we; everyone who didn't managed to recite (more like memorize) hafazan with Ustaz, needed to be in full-celoreng in just 5 freaking minutes! Like whaaaaaat everyone was swearing this and that since they all got hot under the collar-- count me in. But then, it was our fault tho cause we didn't memorize it. 

me;naylee;naz;teah;ayien;azie
@ surau

Well, basically this is what we do in between maghrib and isya.

Selfie! Hahahaha

Only on saturday and sunday tho.

ais;fatin;teah;ayien;me
@ surau

1/1/2015, new year and can't go back home. Nah sokay because I got those bunch of laughing gas here. We did nothing much since its holiday and yeah, sleep-eat-gossip and repeat. The next day new module started- PEKERTI module. It was about social thingy. You know, girls boys those things lah.

This week family visit they came. My family came exclude my dad since he went to kelantan. And yup my nenek also came! With maklong & paklong. Thanks for the visit anyway! 

Fourth week family visit

FIFTH WEEK;

Did the kompas gila activity, PEKERTI module ended, modul kenegaraan started (from 7th-23rd) quite a long time actually. But before that, we were divided into groups for the Perisai Zaman activity. Kinda like explorace activity and the mission is to find the perisai zaman. So I was in PZ11-with a new group but still the same with *cough* him *cough*. It was really a tiring day but we finished it because of our strong teamwork. 

So after that we were split into KN classes and mine was in KN2 (Kenegaraan 2). Hm not to mention that this module was damn bored! It was like studying history at your school. Daaaa suits with the module name, we learned about Malaysia, and revising all the history back then. 

This is the boring workbook LOL

Already started with TTS (Tempur Tanpa Senjata) thingy. Sometimes I find it was fun but sometimes it was just a damn bored day doing this TTS. Maybe because the tired factor. On saturday we have talks about APKK (well, pardon me cuz i cant remember what was this abt hihi) and we were also informed that we need to prepare for the SSP (Semarak Semangat Patriotisme) event. 

My family didn't came for a visit this week. So I joined Nayli's again. Basically, every week we joined Nayli's family visit. Because her mother will bring a lot of food for us to share. So whos family didn't come then we can simply join.

Back from left; Aziera, Nazatul, Nayli
Front from left; Adilah, Teah, Me

Fifth week family visit
(with Nayli and others)

part 1 // part 2 // part 4

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To be continued

P/s; I know it takes so long for me to post this hahahahaha I'm sorry but yeah, procrastination. So basically I post whatever things I wanted to simply because writing last. So somehow if I ever miss those moment I can read it all over again. But yea, I do skip some things. 

PP/s; I type this based on my journal I wrote on a book when I was at the camp. (Thats why I can remember many things heheh)

PPP/s; The sixth week onwards will be up in part 4

Love,

NIH