Saturday, 16 August 2014

PLKN part 1

And I was...
lost for words
at a loss

Well honestly, I don't even know what to feel. Should I be happy? Or sad? Or what? I'm confused. I literally cried and screamed the moment I read this. But I don't even know why I did that, I mean is it because I was happy that I'm selected for the National Service? Or I'm actually sad that I've been chosen for it? I don't know. No one knows. 

I'm okay with it because once I told myself, if I'm selected, then I go. If not, then it's okay. 
I wanted to go because the experience there I won't get it anywhere. 
I wanted to go because this program is actually good for me as I will be more disciplined. (i hope so)
I wanted to go because I want a new environment, surrounded by new faces with different attitude.
I wanted to go because some of the activities are quite fun I think.


I am afraid that I can't survive there. (bcs yknow 3 months away without your parents, family?!?!!???!) ((and far as I know, I've never been away from them for more than 3 days and 1 night. And that was 5yrs ago during standard 6 for a camping and during form 3 I went to Goldcourse under school trip. Thats it.))

I am afraid that I don't have any friends there since I'm not that kind of person who'll start first. I mean I want people to say hello to me first, to start the convo first. Because undeniably, I am an awkward person haha idk. 

And yes, my biggest fear is that I'm afraid if I can't be independent without my parents beside me. For almost seventeen years alive, I'm depending on them. Yet, this program is actually to train us to be an independent person. And I hope it works on me since I'm getting older day by day and I have to depend on myself otherwise I'll be in a pickle.


"Yah kakak dapat plkn"
"Oh ha baguslah tu at least you'll get new experience and ni pun exposure untuk kakak jugak since kakak tak pernah rasa duduk jauh jauh ni"
"Tapi lama sangat 3 bulan tu i think 1 month pun dah cukup"
"Habistu kakak ingat nanti dah masuk U 1 bulan 3 bulan je ke? Lagi la 5-6 tahun duduk luar tu"

Hmmmm. I know it's true but I just don't know why I can't interpret it. Sigh.


"(showed my phone) tengok ni"
"( ha nur izz hanani! Dapat plkn kakak haa suka ke tak?"
"Entah biasa je suka jugak sebab banyak benda baru tapi kalau jauh tu hmm"
"Biarlah jauh jauh sikit, belajar erti hidup"
"Tapi nanti baju kena basuh sendiri"
"Habistu nak suruh siapa basuhkan? Semua benda buat sendiri la"
"Mesti banyak barang nak kena bawak tak cukup 3 bag"
"Yela nanti kita beli la bag baru besar sikit"

Hahahahahah. I think it's funny. 

One thing excites me is that I can go shopping all day long to get things prepared for this program. Weeehooooo. So overall, I think there's nothing bad pun if you're selected for this program. In fact, those who doesn't have just lost the fun and enjoyment we gonna have there. Soon. (tktaula ni ayat sedapkan hati ke cane but seriously) All that matters are you and your mindset. So let's spread the positive vibes and ignore those negativity and shallow thoughts of some people that are actually jealous of you! Bear this in mind. 

P/S ; the title of this post got there 'part 1' because i'm so going to write/share about it after my session end. and i'm excited out of a blue. Muahahah bye.

part 2 // part 3 // part 4


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