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So, what's up?

Yea, finished my SPM trial. Screwed everything. The papers. The questions. The results. I am so disappointed and frustrated and sad to see how my result looks like. I mean like, this is trial man and you can apply something with the result for the sake of your future-bright future and you don't even take it serious. No it's not that I take it for granted or what but, nah I don't know.

Despite the devastated feeling, deep inside I am a lil bit proud and happy (just like 20% of it) that I've improved for certain subjects. Even though it is not good enough (obviously it's not) but I'm quite happy to see my marks are improving; towards better. It's just that I need to push myself to study harder because I know I didn't put the best of all during trial. My effort was like 50%(/<) but I expect for a beautiful flower when I myself was too lazy to water it everyday. Of course, it's like pie in the sky. I know.

The question is ;

To whom should I pass the buck?
Is it my parents?
Or maybe my teachers?
O wait, I guess my friends?
Or maybe those strangers outside?

This is all utterly absurd and perplexing.

Of course it's ME. Who else.

There is still hope. There is still time. Nothing [worth having] comes easy. Stop complaining. Stop sighing. Stop wasting. Start now, because it's not too late. Have faith, dear-self.

#40dayslefttillSPM

#40dayslefttillSPM

#40dayslefttillSPM

(amagads this is getting real)