Wrapping up 2019

*phew phew*

*blowing away the dust*

Urm, hi hello?

This is the very first and last post in 2019. Haih i know i know, my bad. I miss writing too but reality hits harder i was too busy struggling to live. And here we are finally at the end of the year...so i survived, i guess?

Here's me listing down my 19 lessons in my very own 2019 journey;

1. Put yourself first. Prioritize yourself. Love yourself.

2. It's okay not to clarify everything that you do. They can either assume or ask. 

3. You can't please everyone.

4. Betrayal in friendship is real. 

5. Learn to accept without rebelling that things don't always go your way, oki miss always wanted her plan to work out? 

6. Sometimes you have to sacrifice your own feelings to not make things worse, and that's okay.

7. Never put high hopes and expectations on anyone. People can be very disappointing i tell ya! 

8. If the little thing hurts you, then it hurts. Your feelings are valid. Your emotions are valid.

9. Putting a lil bit of your ego aside won't cost you much instead good things happened (still practicing on this one!!!) phew

10. It's okay to entertain your breakdown for a little time but getting back up stronger is the next thing after shedding your last tears!!

11. Never expect people would treat you the way you treated them bcs again, people are disappointing.

12. Embrace your insecurities. 

13. If they don't know their limits, you set up the boundaries!

14. Just because you watch your words/actions to not being offensive, doesn't mean they would aware of theirs to not offended you. Yes, what again? People are very upsetting & disappointing.

15. Just go with the flow, your plans sometimes didn't work out.

16. Your thoughts aren't real sometimes.

17. When you think rationally, everything can seem to be good (indeed true, bcs ive been practicing this instead of fikir ikut emosi & perasaan) 

18. Don't always get paranoid, sometimes it's just your feelings. 

19. Always be patience, have faith, and believe in yourself. You can do it, it's just the matter of time as they said great things take time!

Honestly, there were so much more that 2019 taught me.

It was really a roller-coaster ride for me. I was having a lot of heartbreaks and mental breakdowns, i cried a lot, i was having an anxiety attacks few times, i was so depressed due to lots of thing. Please don't get me wrong, all these sources for my breakdowns were not because of my love-life alone. I used to get "izz u ok? gaduh dengan boyfriend ke?" whenever i tweeted or exposing my depressive side. LOL NO. Most of the time it has nothing to do with that, it has always been me and myself. 

Adulting is hard. 

That's one thing for sure.

Despite all the depressing times, i do have those sweet moments this year. So much new memories been created, adventures to be longing for and moments to be missed. 

And as usual, i hope nothing but the best for the new year.

May the new year be filled with so much blessings.

Happy 2020 yalls!

Love,

NIH 

Finding the light back

I seems to lose myself, lately.

I felt lost and empty but I don't know why

I cried and felt sad for no reason

I've been drowning in my own feelings, this is suffocating- really.



A lot of things happened- some has awaken me from my dreams, some hits me real hard in the reality. Growing up is hard. I mean, like being at this age; 21 is hard.

Uh-urm hello 2018?

H

E

L

L

O

everyone!!!!!!!!

Missing me? No? 

Ok.

Well yeasssss i miss my bloggies so much.

*rasa macam nak peluk laptop*

still remember me aite?

It's been so long since my last write.

I know i know, yes i owe a lot of blog posts, even my monthly wrap up also urm gone because time??? hello? where you at?

Hahahaha i just missed updating my life here but what to do- I'm as busy as the prime minister yknow... Err

I don't even finish up my semester 2 post and now here i am...on my semester 3 sem-break.

Woopsie. 

Okay, I'm gonna finish writing em all before i enter another new sem. 

I promise.... ok no, i'll try okay! 👌

Anyway, I'm here just to stop by and wishing everyone a very 

Happy New Year 2018!

May this year gonna bring more of happiness and prosperity to yalls.

Gonna update soon! xx

Love,

NIH

The jokes

Have you ever like making jokes with someone and you blatantly know that their words and their acts are just to comfort you, to make you laugh, to entertain you. But but, it feels so good and nice that you wish they really meant what they said. And not only as a joke. Have you?

I secretly wish the jokes you made were true.

I know I shouldn't put my hopes high but who am I to refrain this natural human being feelings.

But,

I know where I stand.
I know the limits.

Therefore, I should've just stop

Wishing,

and

Hoping.

Before a heart gets broken.

Before a dream been destroyed.

Before everything's too late.

and the most importantly, 

Before the friendship getting awkward.....and finally ends just like that.

I'll stop.

Love,

NIH

Sawadee ka! สวัสดีค่ะ [Thailand trip 2017]

WARNING : This will be a freaking long blog post. I've warned you.

Day 1 (June 27, Tues)

We departed from home around 8am and stopped by at RnR Tapah for a quick breakfast. Oh yes, we didn't take the flight but MPV Hyundai Starex (the agency's) drove by the amazing Uncle Rashid (the travel agent, so called dad's friend) throughout the journey. The highway was okay, I mean there were still got a lot of cars on the road but it's moving. People going back to hometown for raya, perhaps? Because it was the 3rd Syawal. Stopped by RnR Gurun for lunch and there you go the jammed started in Kedah which made us reached the Bukit Kayu Hitam border at almost 4 in the evening.

Ayah & Uncle Rashid were at the front seats

At the border, settling the passport thingy

Ok guys, who wanna hear one funny story? 

At the counter after I gave my passport to the officer lady, she made the 'peace' sign ✌ without saying anything. So I was like, huhhhh??? *insert my very innocent blurry face* and I made the 'peace' sign to her again with hope she'd say something I can understand but instead, she just nodded. I was ahh whatever I don't know what you want so the lady gave my passport back and I ciao and told my parents about it.

And guess again who just made herself as a freaking joke?! Yeah that's me. Everyone was laughing like what the heck are u doing gurl hahaha. Then only I remembered what Uncle Rashid told us earlier in the car, he said that the officer here will asked for the tips. (kinda like rasuah la in malaysia) but it depends on them certain would ask for it some might not. LOL girl facepalm.

After settled everything at the border, we bought thai sim card and had our chicken wing & tea in the car.  Then we continued the journey to meet our thai tour guide at the petrol station. Uncle Rashid said let's have had some light meals for hi-tea so we stopped by this one stall by the road to eat.

that man in red shirt is Uncle Rashid btw

this is after we met our tour guide,
Unlce Mail & Uncle Rashid at the front seats

so called hi-tea by Uncle Rashid hahaha

kenyang terox hi-tea makan nasi hokey

Finished with our so called hi-tea, so let's continue the journey to Krabi. 

Krabi was quite far actually so I slept throughout the journey since it was so cozy in the car hehe. And we finally reached there around 10.30pm. Before checked in to our hotel, we had dinner at Sareefah Seafood and the foods are yums! 

that yay-bangun-tidur-terus-dapat-makan faces 

pad thai and sausage popiah are not in the pics bcs i cant wait
the tom yam and green curry are soooooooooo goooood!

Then after we finished our late dinner, we were heading to our hotel to check in, and slept finally after a long day in the car.

Just a goodnight selfie i guess huhu

Oh ya, we slept in pairs. I mean ya, my parents, my brothers and my sister and I we got one room each.

Day 2 (June 28, Wed)

#ootd

We're up of day 2!

Woke up early in the morning and had our breakfast at this one malay restaurant opposite the hotel we were staying. This restaurant even played the raya songs yknow....guess that they're just in the raya mood haha.

Done breakfast, Uncle Rashid said he wasn't following us after this and we needed to ride the tut-tut just follow the flow and we'll meet him again in the evening. 

So it was island hopping kinda day.

And we I didn't wear our my swim suit. Great. 

so this is the tut-tut 
(idk how to spell it malas nak google)
but basically it is smtg like taxi la but cheaper and it only pusing pusing the town

*pandang jodoh* jk

So now it was only the six of us. We didn't even know where we were about to go. As this tut-tut stopped, and everyone else went down so we followed. We reached the place where we needed to somehow register(?) nah not a suitable word but ya, we paid and were given a pink rope to be tied on our hand so that would be easier to track on which group we're in. 

...and so the island hopping began!

Basically we stayed as a group with those other people in the same boat with us from the beginning till the end of  this island hopping, with our tour guide of course. I don't know his name, but he can speak and understands a lil bit of malay words. 

I seriously did not remember all the islands and caves name we went to hahaha. Ok wait, I remembered Bamboo Island, Phi Phi Island, Maya Bay and Poda Island. That's it. Other than that, I was too busy enjoying the scenery and view instead of the desire to know its name. 

If you didn't know, let me tell ya I am a sucker for nice beautiful breathtaking views and scenes!!! (pls note this, future husband. just in case if im not in a good mood, take me out for nice views.) Okay let me just share the photos throughout this island hopping ok! ;)

and we're done at the first island!

Then we stopped by a cave which I didn't remember its name because I was mesmerizing the nature 😍

After the taking photo sesh was done, we were heading to the next island.

Also went snorkeling at this island.

oh here, meet idk what his name,
 our tour guide throughout the island hopping

Before we finished with the islands, we stopped by this one island to have our lunch. After that we continued to go snorkeling at this one island.

Okay la, I guess this post is going to be flooded with a lot of pictures. Hahaha it's only day 2 guys oh god ok let's just cut everything to the chase ok. Yea, okay. 

The fact that I love beaches but I don't know how to swim is sucks. It limits everything though. Due to that fact, those two tour guide simply make fun of me during snorkeling. I hold on to the rope but then they just saja nak kenakan I they pulled the rope and I was like terkapai kapai there I tarik his hand hahaha padan muka. So Poda Island was the last stop before we were going back to the hotel.

Guess what was the bravest thing I did throughout the day?

Yes, wearing white pants for island hopping. 

Duh girl what were you thinking back then hahaha.

After cleaning ourselves at the hotel, we went out again at 5.30pm. First stop, we went to Heaven 7 or 7 Heaven I don't even know which one is the real name but both are accepted lol. It was something like small theme park for you to take some photos and not really to play with water and stuff. 

The next stop was, the shell grave something. 

Did some shopping there at the souvenir shops and before headed for dinner, we stopped by the road to take some photos with the Mr. Crab, so called the Krabi icon. 

there were more yg tak sampai lagi
thai foods sumpah sedap!!!!

Done dinner, and we were heading back to our hotel for some rest after a long day in wataaaaah. Exclude my parents, as Uncle Rashid had booked a massage session for them at the spa nearby our hotel.



Day 3 (June 29, Thurs)

The first thing we did early in the morning was, checking out from the hotel. Yep, we're only staying there for 2 nights.

oh ya, that's our hotel.
Good Will Hotel

.....and we're off to breakfast yay! We had breakfast at this one simple stall by the road but it was yums. I ate the laksa with green curry and it tasted goooood. Their laksa is so pelik actually dia macam more to bihun and you can choose varieties of kuah and I chose the green curry one. 

it looks nahh but it tastes yums!

ok dont laugh!
the reason why i wore swim suit inside bcs.....
read further pls.....

Right after brekkie, we went for elephant trekking. And since we were the first to arrive there, we got somehow the bonus which was an extra time on the elephant. Almost 50 minutes I think. So the guide took us around the jungle wandering around wasting time blabla.

After riding an elephant, we went to a temple (a tiger temple if im not mistaken). We gotta climb up to the top to see somehow the beautiful view from he top but then, yknow what, it was freaking high and the stairs were so small and so steep and it was so tiring to climb up so we gave up at the 150+ steps. Pheww.

This is the only view we got to see as we gave up already hehe

And then........ yays here's the reason for why Iwore swim suit inside lewls.

We were going to the pooool. Emerald pool. It was so nice the water seems to be seen in greenish colour hence the name, Emerald pool. The pool was quite inland and we gotta walked quite far idk it feels like 'merentas desa' at school you know...haha. Played with the water for one hour before we had our lunch. 

thiz iz good

thiz iz double good omg sedap gila ikan keli bakar tu

Performed our prayer and settled cleaning ourselves changed and all, we headed to Le Khakaob Cave. But wait, before that through the journey there, we stopped by the road and ate some durians and mangos yums. Nah only yums for the mango cuz the durians were 'durian petik' dad said. It means they tak tunggu for the durian to gugur but pergi petik dekat pokok so mostly the durian tak manis at all and just so-so. 

Okay now let's continue with the cave.

This was the highlight of the day. I swear I won't be entering this cave anymore, even if someone would pay for it, nope. (ok maybe not)

ok look at that how rendah the sampan is

This entrance.

The haunted entrance. Ever. 

Your life will change.....the moment.....you.....enter.....this......

JK 

(but really tho)

Ok ok drama la you ni. You can see that the boat is very small and low I can even touch the water by my hand. At first they said only 3 persons in each boat, so my brothers with Uncle Rashid and left us 4. But they said okay la 4 so okay la my parents, Ebby and I were on the same boat and each boat got two I don't know what to call them but it was their (that place) person la, the boat rafters.

The moment we entered the cave, oh okay so nice to see this and that blabla until suddenly the boat rafter asked us to lie down. I was like huhh??? Baring?? Baring macam mana ni? So we just laid down in that small boat because WE'RE GOING THROUGH A FREAKING IDK WHAT TO CALL IT BUT THE CAVE THE BATU IS JUST 1 CM ABOVE OUR FACE GODDD IMAGINE PLS PPL.

But the journey to enter the cave wasn't terrifying as the journey out from the cave. 

MOST appropriate i can say.
that guy in black shirt is boat rafter 1, another one is in front of me
ebby is behind ayah if u can see
and, no i didn't wear shades in the cave.

certain area we can sit normally,
certain area we need to lie down

The rocks in the picture above is ok still high.

Now that imagine that rock is lowered down right onto your face and you gotta lie down and cannot move even a bit because it's just an inch away your cheeks.

After touring around in the cave, it's time to get out.

...and the most horrifying part started.

IMAGINE LA AIR SUNGAI (??) TU DAH LA TINGGI CUZ THAT DAY AIR PASANG KATANYA AND THEN SAMPAN TU RENDAH AND BATU GUA TU RENDAH AND AIR QUITE DERAS AND LAJU AND SO WHUT DO YA EXPECT OFC I SCREAMED I ALMOST ANGKAT TANGAN TO CLOSE MY FACE ALMOST BUT SEBAIK AYAH HALANG IF NOT TERKENA BATU TU EVEN EBBY TERGERAK SIKIT FROM HER POSITION SO TANGAN DIA TERGURIS SIKIT CALAR DIA MCM JATUH ATAS JALAN TAR CAMTU. I SWEAR I WAS SO SCARED IF THE ROCK HITS MY FACE BCS LIKE BEBETUL DEPAN MATA!!!!!!! SO I CLOSED MY EYES AND PRAYED SO HARD INSIDE UNTIL WE GOT OUT.

Phew. 

And we heard my brothers were laughing whilst we were so nervous thru the journey out. So Ayah asked them why, and they said "perut Uncle Rashid tak lepas tadi masa baring" hahahaha.

now you know how close it was. If you've urm so called a cute tummy, then I advice you better not. (but kalau air tak pasang can kot) 

WE'RE STILL ALIVE

Anyway, it was such a great experience!

that omg so relieved i came out safely without any hurt-face

Next we went to Trang Andaman Gateway to take some photos with mr elephant. Finished with the photo shoot session we straight away to Hat Yai. It was night already by the time we reached Hat Yai so we headed to Rocky Restaurant for dinner.

parents looking so cute <3

i personally think this baby jumbo iz cute.
me ofc la cute

there were some yg tak sampai lagi masa ni
cam biasa, tomyam da bomb!

Finished dinner, we went straight away to the hotel and checked in.

the lobby of the hotel

as usual, a mirror selfie.

After a long day, I deserved a good sleep I guess.

Day 4 (June 30, Fri)

So here we go again, woke up early in the morning and had our breakfast at a Thai Malaysia restaurant.

this is otak-otak in thailand looks like. sedap.

nasi kerabu ft nasi dagang

mine hehe
roti kosong, roti telur

So basically day 4 was Hat Yai ↔ Songkhla kinda day. Also the day to use up the moneyyyyyh haha. First stop was at Nora Plaza, place to buy souvenirs and stuff like that. And then we headed to the 'peanuts' place I don't know what was the name pardon me. But they got a lot of tester so I took everything from the peanuts to chocolates to kerepeks hahaha who doesn't love the free sample aite? 

this is at the foods shop

Almost noon by the time we finished with all the shopping things. Headed to Sleeping Buddha simply just to take some shots and rushed to Songkhla because it was Friday and the boys needed to perform their Friday prayer.

and while waiting for them to finish their prayer, 

mum sissy and I were having our lunch at the restaurant opposite the mosque.

weh, NASI AYAM DIA SUMPAH SEDAP GILA NAK MAMPS
 SAMBAL DIA PUN PADU GILA OMG NAK LAGIIIIII

Next would be the boys' turn to enjoy the deliciousness of the chicken rice haha.

After everyone's tummy was filled, we walked by the Songkhla street and took photos. It was scorching hot actually so we quickly got into the car to continue our journey.

Stopped by for the coconut ice-cream since it was so hot. After that we went to Tang Kuan Hill to see the beautiful view of Songkhla city. The 1 minute elevator took us to the top.

so sedap i lurve 

this is the elevator, it was an inclined elevator
we moved to the right instead of upward

was about to unlock my name at the love lock,
but eh lupa single
hahahahah k 

It was raining but not too heavily so we stopped by the city to take photos with the dragon and mermaid statue. Actually, by that time we were already so tired. I was so serabai my tudung all went selekeh and all I really want was just a deep sleep.

But nope, what's with holiday and sleep?

So we headed to floating market. I was so amazed with the floating market concept. So cool to do your business on just a boat and with the circumstances around there. People singing, eating and just having fun with their loved ones. I love the vibes.

Then it was time to go back to the hotel. But wasn't for a good deep sleep, to take a bath and getting ready to go out again at 7pm for dinner. Well at least, I got half an hour to breathe before we got out again. Today's dinner was superb it was a seafood heaven. We ate too much seafood that I feel like vomiting. Crabs, clams, shrimps, cockles ahhh just name it. So full I can't even walk straight. 

these are just some of the dishes, there's more 

Though we can't walk straight, we still continue our journey to treasure their night market.

It was like uptown here in Malaysia.

We went back to our hotel by tut-tut or tuk-tuk I don't know which one.

And that's the end of day 4.

Day 5 (July 1, Sat)

As much as we love being out for some fresh air, home is still where the heart is.

Yup, it's time to back home people!

So we checked out from PB Grand Hotel at 7am and headed to Dannok for breakfast and a little bit of shopping. 

bye-bye room.

The road wasn't as clear as the day we came, prolly because it was weekend. So most of the time, I slept. Hahahaha. I woke up just to eat some junk foods and then I slept again. Repeatedly until we reached home. Luls. We stopped by Changloon for our lunch btw and straight away to home.

hello, malaysia!

Finally, reached home around 8pm after all the jammed. Zzzz.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's a wrap!

A bunch thanks to Ayah and Ibu for this short vacation. 

For the time, for the money, and for the never ending love of course.

((even though my final exam was on the next few days hehe))

Love,

NIH