Not love but hate

I hate people.

I hate how they never appreciate me. I hate how they never realise my existance. I hate how they never try to understand me. I hate how they take me for granted. I hate how they talk to me when they're in trouble/bored. I hate how they never see my efforts trying to be happy for them. I hate how they left me behind. I hate how they automatically forget abt me when they've found smtg/smone. I hate how they never realise that im there whenever they need me--but they. I hate that they never realise their words affect me. I hate how their acts pissed me. I hate that i have to pretend like everything's okay when it's clearly obviously NOT.

I am always trying to look fine, to be fine in order to not destroy the relationship between me and people. Trying so hard to not care, but i can't cause im only human. Human with a freakin fragile heart. I easily get offended without people even knowing.

Wtvr it is, life goes on.

After all

Ahaaaaaaa. Holla bloggies. Its been awhile since i last talk to u i guess. Ok, this is the first post ever for 2014. After almost 3 months away in this year huh.

Ive so much things to write that i dont even have time for it. Well ya, im 17 this year which so called SPM year. Yeap, its finally the last year of high school. Idk what to feel. Excited? Yes of course i am. Im freakin tired with all those so called school stuff. And yea im excited to finally get into my uni-life. "once u get into uni life, u ll wish for ur high school life back" "tgklah nnt mesti regret ckp nak membesar" "u gonna miss your high school life" and blablabla. This is so typical. I mean yeah what goes around comes around kan? So let it be lah. I mean sukahatilah nak rasa apa pun as if u never wish for those things dulu dulu. Sad? Of course im sad that i have finished my school life--soon. As im getting older, things become harder and you just need to do everything by yourself. Of course i will miss my friends, teachers and all the memories for 5 years of high school.

I have my own dreams. So i must chase for it. The focus now is spm. It starts from here. The future is in my hand. Its me who going to make it shine bright like a diamond or the other way. It is all about me and myself. I need to do something in order to get that 'something'.

Till now, goodnight.

Xo

Self-reminder

Study.

Study in order to
get good grades
pass your exam with flying colors
get into a good university
study in overseas
make your parents proud
make your teachers proud
make your friends proud
make everyone around you proud
get good job with high salary
or maybe being a boss in your own company
make your dreams come true
travel around the world
get married
buy everything you want with your own money
.
..
...
....
...
..
.
(and the list go on and on)

"Ive studied all day long but I cant remember even a sentence" "How to memorize the whole things in da book?" "Ive studied but I cant answer my papers" "Can I have my teacher's brain during the exams week?" "I want to pass the exam with flying colors, but how?" "I need to pass it, I have to." 

Quick-post #3

Asslamualaikum.

Hi hey hello.

There's so much things on my mind that I would like to let it out. But I need the time where it's just me, my mind, my thoughts and ofc my blogger. As for now, I'm busy with my life. (i guess so) Final exam is just around the corner so I think this is not the right time for me to blog cause I would love to post a very long blog post. Haha who cares. 

For the time being, 

I hope the world gets better. I mean the people who's living in it. 

Midterm

After 3 weeks of struggling, midterm is finally over. Yes 3 freaking weeks maaaan. Midterm is over, holidays come. Just nice! But nah, im not that excited for this holiday, it is just the freedom from homeworks and books and studies and those tiring things that I want. I just want to rest and doing something fun or something that I really wanted to. Not doing something that im being forced to.

My midterm was............ Quite hard. I mean like h a r d. Form 3 and form 4 are waaaaaay tooooo different. I miss being a form 3 student. Bcs now, I am really tired. Tired of every
thing. Mentally & physically.

Ahh whatever it is, just enjoy your holiday guys. Take a very good care of yourself. Happy 2 weeks holidaysss!!

Loves xx
Nur Izz Hanani