Last Teen Year

It's May 3rd,

and

guess who's turning 19?!

Woke up today to many wishes from whatsapp, facebook & twitter saying 

"happy 19th birthday izz" 

Is this really happening? I am 19 people who would've even thought of that like, didn't I just turned 13 last year and started my high school? Nope, reality slaps hard. I am now living in my last year with a -teen behind my age. Praises be to Him as I survived my teen years. 

Here are my 19 things I've learned by 19 :-

1. Being grateful & thankful. Never compare yourself with others who has more, but those who has less and you'll definitely be even more grateful & thankful for every single thing you had.

2. I learned to cultivate my trust in others little by little. Jsyk, I don't trust people. I don't trust words. Often they said this and done that. Even worse, being lied to. Commitments; dealing with people are the reason why I need to trust. (but I still don't fully trust people 100%)

3. It's okay to be alone. Going to cafe and eat alone, shop alone, walk alone, do your own work alone regardless of your circumstances. Sometimes you just need you-and-yourself time alone and that's okay.

4. Wear and style yourself as you wish. Make-up if you want to. Never bother about what people are saying as long as you're fine with it. Just be confident with yourself!

5. Call/text your family and tell them how's your day. They love you more than you'll ever know. 

6. Speak up. You're deserved to be heard. Don't be afraid to let others know what's on your mind- your opinion is indeed needed. Right or wrong is another story.

7. It's okay to be a little bit selfish. Sometimes, you need to prioritized yourself before others. You have to put your happiness first before others. It's not selfishness- but it's doing what's best for you.

8. People come and go as they wish. Accept that fact even if it hurts. There must be a reason for their leaving and staying in your life.

9. It's okay to cry out loud because of stress. Being depressed is suffocating. The struggle is real. But that's just how life is.

10. It's okay to say no. You don't need to give an explanation or feeling guilty. 

11. You will go through times of sadness that seem like a never ending tunnel, but that's okay. There is always light at the end to give you back your spirit.

12. Never apologize for your feelings. You have the right to feel the way you do.

13. Failure is an option. It's okay to fail your tests and quizzes. It's okay to fail in your relationship with people. It's okay. Failure is a chance for you to learn from your downfall. Your desire shall flourish through the mistakes.

14. Keep learning because you don't know everything yet.

15. Live everyday like it's your last. So cliche yet so true. There's no guaranteed of tomorrow so do what makes you happy.

16. Expectation hurts. The more you expect, the more things will never work as they should. High hopes lead to the greatest disappointment. So less your expectation, lower down your hope and just follow the flow.

17. Forgive people even when they're not sorry. I know this is easier said than done but really, it costs nothing to forgive others and you'll be at peace after that. 

18. Treat people the way you wanted to be treated. Be kind to those that are unkind towards you, it's okay.

19. Last but not least, love yourself. Believe in yourself. Have faith and have hope. There is always hope. 

Happy 19th birthday, dear self.

Thank you for all the warm wishes guys! xx

Love,

NIH

5 things to be appreciated

1. Appreciating love.
Love comes in many ways from different person. Appreciate someone who loves you and someone you loves, before it's too late. Show and prove. There were time we forgot the eternity love- love from and towards God.

2. Appreciate one's effort.

You never know the struggles a person had been through to get things done. Even if things doesn't turned out the way you want it to be, appreciate those small efforts. The effort is what that matters the most. 

3. Appreciate one's time.
Here's to the people that actually make time to hear my rants, my nonsense complaints and my illogical thoughts. Even in the midst of busy-ness, somehow you people still concern about me. Thank you for being there I owe you people a lots!

4. Appreciate the things you have in life.
Sometimes, we tend to be ungrateful because we're looking and longing for something we don't have. I never know the meaning of being grateful until I see the less unfortunate. If life hits you hard, bear in mind that there might be someone else out there whom life hits them harder.

5. Appreciate yourself.
Last but not least, this is the most important thing to be appreciated. Yourself. Be true to yourself. It's okay to feel insecure a bit, but not too much that you tend to hurt yourself. Remember that you're unique in your own way and you're one in a whole world. There's no another you in this world, so be proud of yourself!

Love,

NIH

KMS Semester 1

Well, hello niggas!

It's been so long since my last write. I kinda miss ranting on my blog. I've already done with the first semester in matriculation and is now having my lazy day at home for a two weeks sem-break (8/11-21/11). Yes, my sem-break is only for two weeks, not a month- currently; day 13.

So basically, tiring-exhausting-hard-stressful-busy-hectic-depressing are words to describe my sem 1. Hahaha no, not everything I went through sem 1 is negative. I do have my happy times during this sem. I guess the fact that everything happened too fast like super fast is the reason why I felt so helpless. You need to adapt with your new circumstances very fast in order to survive. And as for me, I took quite a long times- probably the reason for the negative description of  sem 1.

Alhamdulillah, I have my pillar of strength; my parents. Definitely the reason for me to stay strong and face all the hurdles. With their supports, motivational words when I was feeling blue & down in the dumps, and of course their prayers that actually made me finished my first semester. Truth be told, I do feel like giving up and quitting this matriculation program, sometimes.

"Tak ada benda yang senang dalam hidup ni, kakak. Semua benda pun penat.Penat belajar lain, penat kerja nanti lain but that's just how life is. Enjoy je jangan stress stress."  -ibu

Apart from that of course I have my friends who are always prepared with the good advice whenever I pour my heart out to them. Thank you guys!

Ok enough with that. Now let me present how my first sem went through pictures because a picture is worth a thousand words.

This was on the registration day.
The day where my matric's life began.
25/05/2015

Since I've registered online, so I already knew where my so called new home for the next 10 months was. I've been placed in Kolej Kediaman Mira, Tingkat 1, 36 (Mira T1 36). Before I entered matric, I was praying real hard so that I got a good roommate. Because ya, how would I survive my matric's life if I can't get along with my roommate aite?

From left; Suraya, Nurin, Farah, me

I am very thankful to have them as my roomies. God knows how blessed it was because these girls are just nice and crazy at the same time which I can get along with. Despite the fact that we did had misunderstood sometimes. 

Roommate done, now lets move on to my classmate/practicum-mate. I hope to get the same practicum with at least one of my roommates because you know I'm awkward with new people again. I hate the fact that I take time to adjust to my surrounding. Plus the fact that I do not know how to approach people first. Hope was just a hope, I got to be in Sains Modul 1 Kuliah 2 Tutorial 7 (SM1K2T7) or also been called 127 for short. 

To describe how my class was- it will take ages! (haha over betul.) So many things happened. Each and every one of them got their own attitude & characteristics. Summing up my days in 127 for this first sem, I think everything was just fine due to me being passive in that class (so i have no problem with anyone) in spite of that, somehow I do wish to not be in this class for sem 2. Nah kidding, I'm okay with everyone it was just that I don't like the fact that we do have tribes in the class which actually weaken the bonding between each and everyone of us. Hmm.

So here are my classmate of 127 which consist of 4 boys & 15 girls.

Oh and also, 2015 is the year where my first time ever fasting without my family around. For all this time, it was my parents who will wake me up for sahur. And at the evening ibu will prepare for iftar or sometimes we will be going to bazaar and bought a lot of food for iftar. But this time, I have to be independent to wake up and prepare everything by myself. I thanked my roommate a lot as they were the one who always woke me up. Ramadhan went so well, alhamdulillah.

One fact that I can't deny about KMS is that it is one of the nice and beautiful matrics. 

We have a big and beautiful surau, Surau As-Suffi.

Me, Fatin, Aifaa, Ain 

Also, a big Astaka and courts to play sports/recreation

This was during the last day of MPPB week.

With my roomies during Larian KAKOM

"netball"

Oh ya, guess who's gaining weight in college? Hahaha my its-ok-im-gonna-lose-weight-in college-bcs-i-must-be-busy-studying thought were just like pie in the sky because I ate a lot (stress, perhaps?). There were days where we all were just too bored with the food at our cafes. So we ate something Italiano. Guess what is it?

Yes, 10 marks for ya! It's pizza!

Because Dominos is the only fast food that do delivery service to KMS.

Pitzah with roommate!  

Pitzah during iftar! 

Pitzah during recreation time with classmates!

Talking about my academic session, hm my Ujian Pertengahan Semester 1 (UPS1) wasn't up to scratch. Even if it's only for 4 subjects (maths, bio, chemist, physics), but the syllabus for each subject is too much man. Too much content within a short period. So how am I supposed to not getting stress and crazy? Dah la I need time to adapt with my new environment, and then at the same time also I need to adapt with this super fast learning session. Basically the reasons why I get depressed often.

But nothing worth comes easy. I need to work hard in sem 2 to redeem this sem if and only if I want a good CGPA. So girl, do not give up yet and keep on moving! Verily, with every hardship comes ease.

There are still a lot of things I wanna share here but I'm out of time. I am hoping for a better semester which I'll be entered this monday. Thank you for all the memories, sem 1. You definitely will be missed. 

So I think I'll be signing off here. Till next time!

Here's the link for KMS Semester 2

Love,

NIH

May summary

p/s; i know it's already June, but i barely have time to sit in front of my computer lately.

1. Alhamdulillah, many praises to Him that I can still breathe till now at the age of 18. Yup, I'm officially 18 on May 3rd. I couldn't even believe this like, wow how time flies? The day I'm turning 18, I was in Malacca for Aunty Bell's wedding and my parents were both in Vietnam for a short trip. So we had a mini celebration at Papparich, Port Dickson with my aunts uncles & cousies.

Finally eighteen.

2. Alhamdulillah, again, because I got an offer in Diploma Kesihatan Persekitaran at UiTM Pulau Pinang kampus Bertam.

3. Mission accomplished.  May 17th, it was the first met since the last 3 months. It was a blessed to finally get to see you before I'm leaving for matrix. Not to mention that I've already missing those times with you the moment I reached home. Looking forward for the next meet up for your "I'm gonna make u eat sushi like I do." Hahaha is it weird that I don't eat sushi? No, I don't think so. (but to give it a try, why not? huhu)

4. Before everyone's leaving for their new phase of life, we met for quick sesh for a hi-tea at Chemistry Lab & Cafe, Bangi Sentral since they just did a grand opening there. Ain and Sheda were both leaving for Negeri Sembilan Matriculation College whilst Bobby go for Universiti Malaysia Pahang. I wish you girls all the best and please never ever have the thought of forgetting me ok girls? Am so gonna miss u guys.

All grown up girls <3

5. On the 25th, I registered for matriculation. Yes I am now a college student. Say whaaaaaaaat? Hahaha. Ok so I am now officially a student of Selangor Matriculation College (SEMAC). It was a whole new journey for me and I gotta struggle for this one year time. Wish me luck guys! Oh and I'll make a new post about the orientation week thingy.

6. This is kinda a sad news but, I can't get my driving license before leaving for matrix. Huarghhhh so I have to wait for my sem-break or otherwise I'll just complete everything after one year in matrix, which is in 2016. Blergh

Love,

NIH

Decision

*inhale*


*exhale*


Alright, it's about time to make a decision. To choose. To decide.

I'm eighteen and I have to learn to make a decision- for the sake of my own life & others. Truth be told, I don't like deciding. Even if you hand me a bar of chocolate and an ice-cream, I still can't decide which one to take. It's either I take both or none of it. (but ofc, in this case I'll take both hehe)

The problem is that I don't know how to make a choice wisely. I need someone to always pick it up for me; mom & dad for sure. Things went upside down when they asked me to decide by myself. You know what's best for you, they said. O Allah, grant them health and happiness and keep them away from harm because I need them till the very last of my breath.

At times, I wanted to decide everything on my own.
At times, I wanted people to decide it for me.

When I choose to decide, just don't go this and that and this about my decision. People need to learn to respect one's decision whether you're agree or disagree with it. Get that? Great.

As for now, I just made a decision on where to pursue my study. I'll be going to Kolej Matrikulasi Selangor this 25th. I'm hoping that it will be one of the right choices I ever made in my life. Ease my way, give me strength and shower me with your blessing in whatever I do, oh Allah.

Love,

NIH